What do we fill our days with?

Do you ever stop at the end of the day and wonder,

This is a no-win situation...

I want to bang my head against a wall.

We are ALL CHILDREN OF OUR HEAVENLY PARENTS!!!

There have been several research studies done about how depression/anxiety affect the personalities of those who suffer from them. One of the positive attributes that is typically seen in depressive people is an increased ability for empathy. This is a really beautiful thing that I have always been truly grateful for from this disease. Our trials shape us, they shape the people we become, and it brings me some measure of peace to know that this illness has helped me to better understand and relate the Dearly Loved Children of God that surround me.

Can you keep a Secret?

Here's a little, dirty secret for you that you might not like:

Top of the World

I can't get a song out of my head...

Ah, the nights I hear these words echoing in my brain, and there is so much of it that I feel so keenly.
I wish I didn't feel like songs like this pour out of my soul.
I wish I could really be heard, could turn my brain inside out so I can explain this disease.
I wish this disease didn't make me feel such an intense need to be completely understood, and at the same time make that virtually impossible.
I wish I knew how to take my loneliness and your loneliness and make them meet and meld in the the middle so that we could all be UnLonely in our loneliness.

The Loss of Humanity...

It's late, I am exhausted. I had a really good day. I got a lot of things done, managed to do everything in fairly good time, and escaped with only minor meltdowns by either of my children. My Littles were so tired that neither fought going down for the night. My husband was also in that boat, and was snoozing peacefully when I went in the room to plug my cell in before it died. I thought that it was a really good day, and for once, I was tired enough to toss insomnia to the wind and fall into my pillow at a reasonable hour.

And then...

Disappearing...

Sometimes, when the anxiety and the depression gets really bad, I feel like disappearing. And then I sort of do. I disappeared the last few months. I was just treading water, and to keep myself afloat sometimes I have to rid myself of anything extraneous that can bog me down. Not that the blog gets me down, but sometimes writing gives me more anxiety, like when I just don't feel like I have the words to truly suffice. I still feel like that a bit, so today I'm going to take the easy route and with a Friend of the Blog's permission, re-post her exact blog from a few days ago. She is affectionately known as Ladybug on her private mommy blog, so for your enjoyment:  Merry Christmas!...Wait...Happy Easter?


"Though I realize this may be a strange forum to do so, I have had something on my mind nagging me for the past several weeks that needs to find some form of expression.

This nagging discontent has to do with a time of the year that is the most holy to me, as a Christian. To my friends who I know read this blog and are of different belief systems, if you feel comfortable doing so bear with me and I will explain something that shaped the very core of who I am...and if that isn't at all interesting to you I will be discussing some details of Christian history that you may or may not find intriguing.