Today has been trying. My preschooler has been trying. My baby has been trying. Even my dog has been trying. I feel like running away. I feel like hiding. I feel like hugging them. I feel a little like spanking them. I feel like I'm DrOwnInG. I feel like I need to SCREEEEEAAAAAMMMMM!
Does that make me a bad mom? I feel like it does. And at the same time, I don't know what else to do right now without losing it completely. And I mostly feel crappy-by-comparison, because try as I might not to, I keep thinking of all the annoying picture perfect moms in my ward who get through their days with plastered on smiles and bake cutesy cupcakes while they are at it. And even though a part of me knows that just isn't me, I still feel like somehow I'm failing to meet the Raised Bar of Mommyhood. I feel like this is all my fault.