The Beginning & the Epoch of Honesty
I am cheating on my other blog. Yes, this is my second blog. The other blog and I, we keep up appearances, for the sake of the kids. All of my family, my in-laws, my church acquaintances read my other blog. They comment on my syrupy posts and pictures; they tell me how cute and big my kids are getting. I hate the sound of my own narrative in my other blog. When I write in it late at night, I start out one way and before the post is finished I've erased, edited, and deleted anything I find emotionally or intellectually stimulating. Then I lay in bed dejected because I didn't get where I wanted to go. There is no revelation, no release, no "Ah, Ha!" moment. It's the ultimate blogger frustration.
I've been thinking about doing this for months, toying with the idea of exposing myself to a new audience. Tonight, I couldn't seem to stop myself. I was caught up in the raw, aching, primal desire to write something that I actually felt. I hate my other blog. I hate the fake family portrait it paints. So instead, I find myself here letting it all hang out with complete anonymity. Thrilling, isn't it?